Everybody has had moments where they think nasty thoughts, while outwardly smile and nod. A lot of people are horrified when somebody actually utters the unvarnished thoughts that're dancing around in their head. Since a lot of my life is on the web, I'm reminded of people's reaction constantly.
I'm in a better mood today. You can quit sending me snide remarks in the mail. I already know I'm a spoiled brat, thank you. It reminds me of a bumper sticker ..."I may be fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet"
I told mom that if we aren't done soon here, I'm running off to join a circus, where at least things will be calmer. She's really frustrated too. The good news is, we're nearing the end. Yay! Break out the pom poms!
I've been slapping price stickers on items and setting them up on the many tables we have in the living room. We're prepping for a big, blowout indoor sale this weekend. Everything must go! It's our goal to get all of the selling/giving away by the end of next week.
I know it's the right thing to do to be here and help my grandmother out of the quagmire of horrendous choices she's made, but still I'm frustrated. I just wish she'd start living her life in a more conscious, sane manner. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink...Today she managed to bounce the same check three times. The credit union charges $28 per bounce. Lovely.
We were going to take a vacation from the craziness and go to California to attend the PCT kickoff party, but mom came down with the flu yesterday. She's been buried under 5 blankets and chattering ever since.
Anyhoo, back to work!
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Poll Thus Far
The poll results thus far:
Become a carpenter again: 14
Get van running: 10
Go for a hike: 7
Everything else is under 5 votes apiece.
Write ins have included:
Go fly a kite
Go back to Job Corps
Buy a used bicycle, fix it up and go cross country, up to Washington, then across again. Take a few months to figure out what I want to do.
Post more cowgirl hat pictures
Write more van stories
Become a reporter
Start building cheap housing for low income women and children
Become a carpenter again: 14
Get van running: 10
Go for a hike: 7
Everything else is under 5 votes apiece.
Write ins have included:
Go fly a kite
Go back to Job Corps
Buy a used bicycle, fix it up and go cross country, up to Washington, then across again. Take a few months to figure out what I want to do.
Post more cowgirl hat pictures
Write more van stories
Become a reporter
Start building cheap housing for low income women and children
I'm special
Google likes me. :-)
I'm one of the first of regular, non-Google employee people to test out Google's new email program. I've only used it for a few minutes, but I'm already thinking of dropping my AOL account and going exclusively Google.
Sneak Peak at Google Email
I'm one of the first of regular, non-Google employee people to test out Google's new email program. I've only used it for a few minutes, but I'm already thinking of dropping my AOL account and going exclusively Google.
Sneak Peak at Google Email
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Harumph
I'm becoming depressed. It seems like I'm doing absolutely nothing useful with MY life. All I'm doing is mopping up somebody elses - somebody who's never paid attention to me, somebody who should be left to wallow in their mistakes and feel the full brunt of the consequences from making such piss-poor choices all of their life.
Money we put into her bank account from the garage sales has already been squandered on bounced check fees incurred when she made a $2,000 mistake in her checking account. How the hell can you make a $2,000 mistake? Especially when her account has been infused with unexpected money! I wish I had that much money to screw up with.
Dick is voluntarily starving himself to death now. The nurses have come to the conclusion that he's doing this because he really has nothing left to live for. His three children have yet to visit him. Only one of them has called him and she only did so twice, to bitch at the nurses. Suzanne has stopped calling as well. When we were in Phoenix to visit her, she asked us if it was alright for her to get a boyfriend ...then said, "Just kidding". She wasn't.
What am I doing here? I'm not helping my financial life being here. I'm certianly not furthering my career goals, unless those change to wanting to clean houses for a living. I'm stuck here doing meaningless work indefinately.
I have no paying job, my (nonworking) vehicle is 3,000 miles away and I have yet to do something useful for/with my life this year. On top of that, thru-hiking season has started and is bringing up painful memories of my unfulfilled hike last year.
Everybody is having more fun then me, dammit!
I need a nice cushy government job as a backcountry ranger. Just me, trail tools and lots of wide open spaces.
Tomorrow the rest of my class at Job Corps is taking the wilderness fire fighting physical to get their red cards.
Tomorrow I get to do what I've been doing for the past two months...pure, unadulterated drudgery. Even Job Corps starts to look good after this.
Money we put into her bank account from the garage sales has already been squandered on bounced check fees incurred when she made a $2,000 mistake in her checking account. How the hell can you make a $2,000 mistake? Especially when her account has been infused with unexpected money! I wish I had that much money to screw up with.
Dick is voluntarily starving himself to death now. The nurses have come to the conclusion that he's doing this because he really has nothing left to live for. His three children have yet to visit him. Only one of them has called him and she only did so twice, to bitch at the nurses. Suzanne has stopped calling as well. When we were in Phoenix to visit her, she asked us if it was alright for her to get a boyfriend ...then said, "Just kidding". She wasn't.
What am I doing here? I'm not helping my financial life being here. I'm certianly not furthering my career goals, unless those change to wanting to clean houses for a living. I'm stuck here doing meaningless work indefinately.
I have no paying job, my (nonworking) vehicle is 3,000 miles away and I have yet to do something useful for/with my life this year. On top of that, thru-hiking season has started and is bringing up painful memories of my unfulfilled hike last year.
Everybody is having more fun then me, dammit!
I need a nice cushy government job as a backcountry ranger. Just me, trail tools and lots of wide open spaces.
Tomorrow the rest of my class at Job Corps is taking the wilderness fire fighting physical to get their red cards.
Tomorrow I get to do what I've been doing for the past two months...pure, unadulterated drudgery. Even Job Corps starts to look good after this.
Cereal
Today while grocery shopping, I noticed a guy in the cereal isle. He was writing things in a fairly thick notebook. I peered over his shoulder and asked "So, what are you writing in there?"
He was an agent for General Mills and was checking to make sure this supermarket was displaying the agreed upon GM market share. His job was to count cereal box faces and write down the percentage of the market share they represent. He also checks out the frontage of other brands owned by the company, such as Betty Crocker, Yoplait and Pop Secret.
He wouldn't confess to how much GM marks up their cereals, but did let me in on other interesting information. Did you know that plain Cheerios are the best selling cereal out there? Honey nut Cheerios come in a close second.
I felt guilty picking out the Safeway brand of generic grape-nuts. When I went to get a box of Kix, his face brightened and he rummaged in his cart. He pulled out a long strip of 1$ off General Mills cereal coupons and handed them to me.
He's currently on a low carb diet and doesn't eat too much in the way of cereal. GM has come out with a low carb variety, but he says it tastes like cardboard. I looked at the ingredients - first on the list was wheat gluten. Mmmmmm, tasty.
He was an agent for General Mills and was checking to make sure this supermarket was displaying the agreed upon GM market share. His job was to count cereal box faces and write down the percentage of the market share they represent. He also checks out the frontage of other brands owned by the company, such as Betty Crocker, Yoplait and Pop Secret.
He wouldn't confess to how much GM marks up their cereals, but did let me in on other interesting information. Did you know that plain Cheerios are the best selling cereal out there? Honey nut Cheerios come in a close second.
I felt guilty picking out the Safeway brand of generic grape-nuts. When I went to get a box of Kix, his face brightened and he rummaged in his cart. He pulled out a long strip of 1$ off General Mills cereal coupons and handed them to me.
He's currently on a low carb diet and doesn't eat too much in the way of cereal. GM has come out with a low carb variety, but he says it tastes like cardboard. I looked at the ingredients - first on the list was wheat gluten. Mmmmmm, tasty.
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Sarcasm is for smart people
It takes brains to creatively warp communication for your own amusement, arrange it into something that makes sense, and enlighten others with your point of view within split seconds after hearing a comment just asking to be remarked on.
Sarcasm runs in my family. I'm used to conversations rife with gentle ribbing and double meanings. We take glee in using sarcasm to jazz up a conversation. Sometimes other people don't seem to appreciate it.
It seems the people who most dislike sarcasm are the ones who just don't get it. They know they're being made fun of, but they don't realize how. Bureaucracies especially hate it when underlings amuse themselves in this way. I'm reminded of Job Corps .... The teachers didn't appreciate my creative flair when doing reports. It's still my stance that "Looks good in ski pants" is a perfectly reasonable leadership qualification to list in a risk management plan. I'm miffed that it got crossed out with a red pen. Hmmf.
I originally created a boyfriend application out of a sarcastic remark I made to Steve. He insisted I'd need transcripts and a diploma to get anywhere in life. I told him that if paperwork was so important, I'd start requiring prospective boyfriends to fill out an application with references.
Tonight upon getting home to Concho, I revised the aforementioned application.
Sarcasm runs in my family. I'm used to conversations rife with gentle ribbing and double meanings. We take glee in using sarcasm to jazz up a conversation. Sometimes other people don't seem to appreciate it.
It seems the people who most dislike sarcasm are the ones who just don't get it. They know they're being made fun of, but they don't realize how. Bureaucracies especially hate it when underlings amuse themselves in this way. I'm reminded of Job Corps .... The teachers didn't appreciate my creative flair when doing reports. It's still my stance that "Looks good in ski pants" is a perfectly reasonable leadership qualification to list in a risk management plan. I'm miffed that it got crossed out with a red pen. Hmmf.
I originally created a boyfriend application out of a sarcastic remark I made to Steve. He insisted I'd need transcripts and a diploma to get anywhere in life. I told him that if paperwork was so important, I'd start requiring prospective boyfriends to fill out an application with references.
Tonight upon getting home to Concho, I revised the aforementioned application.
Sunday, April 18, 2004
Hi from Heather
I didn't fall off the ends of the earth, I'm just in Phoenix. We came down here on Thursday (?) expecting to drop some stuff off for my grandmother, and then drive right back up to Concho. We're still here...
She got hauled away in an ambulance the day we brought her back to her apartment. The short story is that her doctor was (and still is) an idiot who dropped the ball. She's still alive and kicking, but is back in the hospital for a while.
Mom and I have been getting her apartment all ready for her to move in. We've got all the furniture in, her cuboards stocked, and everything looking and smelling pretty. All it needs now is her.
My only gripe while down here is that it's almost impossible to find a Cake CD. Nobody carries them! I've tried Walmart, K-mart, Target, and a really good used book store called Bookmans. Nadda. Zip. Life is rough.
Don't know how much longer we'll be down here. I'll write more when we get access tp a computer again. Currently I'm on the City of Mesa's library computer. I'm happy - I just got myself a library card. That makes the 2nd county in AZ I've gotten a card for so far. When we get back up to Concho, I'm going for a 3rd. Show-Low is in a different county...
Must go borrow books now. :-)
Heather
She got hauled away in an ambulance the day we brought her back to her apartment. The short story is that her doctor was (and still is) an idiot who dropped the ball. She's still alive and kicking, but is back in the hospital for a while.
Mom and I have been getting her apartment all ready for her to move in. We've got all the furniture in, her cuboards stocked, and everything looking and smelling pretty. All it needs now is her.
My only gripe while down here is that it's almost impossible to find a Cake CD. Nobody carries them! I've tried Walmart, K-mart, Target, and a really good used book store called Bookmans. Nadda. Zip.
Don't know how much longer we'll be down here. I'll write more when we get access tp a computer again. Currently I'm on the City of Mesa's library computer. I'm happy - I just got myself a library card. That makes the 2nd county in AZ I've gotten a card for so far. When we get back up to Concho, I'm going for a 3rd. Show-Low is in a different county...
Must go borrow books now. :-)
Heather
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
New News
I just came in from the back deck, where I've been lounging around in my bikini and reading Discover, Scientific American, and Countryside. Ahhhhh....after almost 2 weeks of rain and cold, it's nice to finally have sun again.
Last weekend we had my cousin Samanatha's fake 10th birthday party. Her real birthday isn't until September. There are pictures of the food over on mom's blog.
We had vanilla cake with chocolate frosting, vanilla ice cream, chips, salsa, guacamole, veggies with ranch dip, chicken fingers and some other things. After we ate, Sam and Charlotte attacked the Dora the Explorer pinata and gorged on some more candy.
After we got everybody sugared up, we drove over to Aunt Liz's property. They have two acres up behind a cinder mountain. Lots of really nice views of the valley basin surrounding them. The kids and I ran around and annoyed the adults by playing with our walkie-talkies. With all of the rain we've been having lately, the ground was quite soggy. Mud about 5" thick stuck to the soles of everyone's shoes. You should see the interior of the car...
The only bad part of the day was that it SNOWED! Ick ick ick. Luckily it didn't hang around. The tops of all of the mountains around us are now white and pretty though. The pansies and calendula out front are still perky as ever.
On Friday I got my Arizona driver's license. Yippie! It's valid until my 69th birthday. :-) I can even choose to have the same photo of my 20 yo self on there until the day I go in to renew.
Hmmm, other news ....
I traded golf clubs and bags in exchange for some horse riding lessons with a neighbor.
The lilac tree out back is starting to bloom.
Mom and I have less then $100 in credit to our names.
We're going to California soon to the kick off party for PCT hikers, and we get to see Radar!
I'm going to get a lariat and start practicing roping the dog and the bushes out back.
The librarian already knows me by name :-)
We saw a herd of elk and a posse of antelope yesterday.
Last weekend we had my cousin Samanatha's fake 10th birthday party. Her real birthday isn't until September. There are pictures of the food over on mom's blog.
We had vanilla cake with chocolate frosting, vanilla ice cream, chips, salsa, guacamole, veggies with ranch dip, chicken fingers and some other things. After we ate, Sam and Charlotte attacked the Dora the Explorer pinata and gorged on some more candy.
After we got everybody sugared up, we drove over to Aunt Liz's property. They have two acres up behind a cinder mountain. Lots of really nice views of the valley basin surrounding them. The kids and I ran around and annoyed the adults by playing with our walkie-talkies. With all of the rain we've been having lately, the ground was quite soggy. Mud about 5" thick stuck to the soles of everyone's shoes. You should see the interior of the car...
The only bad part of the day was that it SNOWED! Ick ick ick. Luckily it didn't hang around. The tops of all of the mountains around us are now white and pretty though. The pansies and calendula out front are still perky as ever.
On Friday I got my Arizona driver's license. Yippie! It's valid until my 69th birthday. :-) I can even choose to have the same photo of my 20 yo self on there until the day I go in to renew.
Hmmm, other news ....
I traded golf clubs and bags in exchange for some horse riding lessons with a neighbor.
The lilac tree out back is starting to bloom.
Mom and I have less then $100 in credit to our names.
We're going to California soon to the kick off party for PCT hikers, and we get to see Radar!
I'm going to get a lariat and start practicing roping the dog and the bushes out back.
The librarian already knows me by name :-)
We saw a herd of elk and a posse of antelope yesterday.
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Pictures
My aunt Liz and her two kids Samantha and Charlotte live about half an hour away from where we are now in Arizona. Last weekend we had a 7th birthday party for Charlotte. We made a turkey dinner with all of the trimmings, and I baked a luscious chocolate cake with fudge icing.
I put some pictures up over on mom's blog. The blonde is Charlotte, the redhead is Samantha, and the really weird looking one is my aunt Liz. :-) (Hi Liz!)
Next weekend we're having a party for Sam. Her real birthday isn't until September, but what the heck - she needs a party too!
The pictures are located HERE
I put some pictures up over on mom's blog. The blonde is Charlotte, the redhead is Samantha, and the really weird looking one is my aunt Liz. :-) (Hi Liz!)
Next weekend we're having a party for Sam. Her real birthday isn't until September, but what the heck - she needs a party too!
The pictures are located HERE
Monday, March 29, 2004
Porno Versus Romance Novels
Feeling the need to zone out one night, I picked up a romance novel. It was about a woman who answered an ad in the paper from a cattle rancher looking for a wife. Basically the man didn't want intimacy, he wanted sex and somebody to cook/clean/have kids. The woman in this novel set out to change him, and ended up molding him into the perfect husband in only 100 or so pages.
The Christian Right is always in an uproar over porno. I think they should forget the porno and pay more attention to romance novels. It's romance novels, not porno, that's having a detrimental effect on the moral fabric of our society.
Think about it - romance novels encourage women to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to men. Then men in romance novels always have the perfectly sculpted bodies, are absolutely amazing in bed, either start out rich or come into money very quickly, and are molded into exactly the type of husband the woman wants, with very little effort. Romance novels encourage women to fantasize about the unattainable.
Porno is very attainable. With a fair bit of athleticism and a healthy taste for adventure, you can experience pretty much everything you see/read about in porno.
If you don't think my opinion is true, please send a male with romance-novel like attributes to me in Concho, Arizona.
The Christian Right is always in an uproar over porno. I think they should forget the porno and pay more attention to romance novels. It's romance novels, not porno, that's having a detrimental effect on the moral fabric of our society.
Think about it - romance novels encourage women to have unrealistic expectations when it comes to men. Then men in romance novels always have the perfectly sculpted bodies, are absolutely amazing in bed, either start out rich or come into money very quickly, and are molded into exactly the type of husband the woman wants, with very little effort. Romance novels encourage women to fantasize about the unattainable.
Porno is very attainable. With a fair bit of athleticism and a healthy taste for adventure, you can experience pretty much everything you see/read about in porno.
If you don't think my opinion is true, please send a male with romance-novel like attributes to me in Concho, Arizona.
Friday, March 26, 2004
Boxes
We need at least 973,125 boxes to pack up everything and sort it in this house. Yesterday I hit up the bar, grocery store, liquor store and the Family Dollar for boxes. I completely stuffed the back of the SUV with flattened boxes. We now have enough to last us through the weekend.
We'll be having a yard sale this weekend if it isn't too windy out, so I'll be scarce on the online world. The wind may gust to 90 mph, though! Maybe an inside sale...
On other news, I got my Arizona learners permit yesterday! When I want my license, I troop down to the office, pay $25 to take the test, and it's good for 30 years.
We'll be having a yard sale this weekend if it isn't too windy out, so I'll be scarce on the online world. The wind may gust to 90 mph, though! Maybe an inside sale...
On other news, I got my Arizona learners permit yesterday! When I want my license, I troop down to the office, pay $25 to take the test, and it's good for 30 years.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Wanted:
There's a difference between the detrimental material crap in this house, and beneficial material goods. For instance, this house is filled with knick-knacks. There are all sorts of angel doohickies, about 50 pounds worth of ceramic mugs of all shapes and inscriptions, decorative spoons, doilies, and enough plastic flowers to fill up the Grand Canyon at least halfway. Not much in this house is worth anything...Even though it cost a pretty penny when they bought it. The material things in here don't contribute to happiness or security...They just get in the way and collect dust.
I'm not saying they should eschew possessions and live in a cave. Some material things ARE good....But not the majority of things in this house. Think of the useful things they could have bought in lieu of that toy watering can filled with fake, dusty ivy sitting off to my left...Heck, they could have bought a real watering can and some plants to spruce up the place!
They (Suzanne and DICK) currently live on more than 60k a year. They owe thousands upon thousands of dollars more than they currently have. Pretty soon their home, car and most of their possessions will be gone, and all they'll be left with is mountains of debt.
I've made less then half of their current yearly income during my entire lifetime. What do I have to show for it? A house, totally paid for. A van, totally paid for. A year's worth of backpacking food, totally paid for. Lots of cool backpacking and other sports equipment, totally paid for. Tangible things, useful things...not boxes of knick knacks so ugly and useless that we haven't been able to sell them for 5 cents in a yard sale.
My current list of material wants:
A 1960's-70's era Chevrolet C-10 4x4 stepside long bed pick up truck
A couple hundred acres of land in Alaska, Montana or northern Arkansas to build a homestead on
A painted horse to graze and ride on the aforementioned land
A hunky, talented guy to do the dishes and other things
See the difference? My material wants are useful, practical things. I'm not likely to shove them onto a shelf to gather dust. They're things that I'll be appreciating every day.
Grrrrr. Arrrgg. I'm going to indulge in some therapy by hurling some knick knacks into the dumpster.
I'm not saying they should eschew possessions and live in a cave. Some material things ARE good....But not the majority of things in this house. Think of the useful things they could have bought in lieu of that toy watering can filled with fake, dusty ivy sitting off to my left...Heck, they could have bought a real watering can and some plants to spruce up the place!
They (Suzanne and DICK) currently live on more than 60k a year. They owe thousands upon thousands of dollars more than they currently have. Pretty soon their home, car and most of their possessions will be gone, and all they'll be left with is mountains of debt.
I've made less then half of their current yearly income during my entire lifetime. What do I have to show for it? A house, totally paid for. A van, totally paid for. A year's worth of backpacking food, totally paid for. Lots of cool backpacking and other sports equipment, totally paid for. Tangible things, useful things...not boxes of knick knacks so ugly and useless that we haven't been able to sell them for 5 cents in a yard sale.
My current list of material wants:
A 1960's-70's era Chevrolet C-10 4x4 stepside long bed pick up truck
A couple hundred acres of land in Alaska, Montana or northern Arkansas to build a homestead on
A painted horse to graze and ride on the aforementioned land
A hunky, talented guy to do the dishes and other things
See the difference? My material wants are useful, practical things. I'm not likely to shove them onto a shelf to gather dust. They're things that I'll be appreciating every day.
Grrrrr. Arrrgg. I'm going to indulge in some therapy by hurling some knick knacks into the dumpster.
...Continued from below
Mom and I went on a roadtrip shortly after I wrote the entry previous to this. We've been needing frequent escapes the deeper we get into this whole mess. It's fun, though :-)
We got ourselves lost in a different National Forest this time. I turned up a rutted dirt FS road and found out we were in a wolf relocation area. There were sheep corrals everywhere, and a dead coyote near the gate of one of them. It must have been shot by a sheep rancher.
We were so high up in elevation that we bumped into snow again. There were patches of it everywhere amidst the towering ponderosa pines. It started to rain when we got back down to regular elevation (about 6,000 feet). The temp dipped down to 71 degrees, and I actually felt a little chilly. I tell you, it's rough out here. :-)
We mosied over to Home Depot again and picked up more things for the house. This place has never looked better! We're putting in a mini herb garden on one side of the front porch, and lots of flowers on the other. I finished putting in the new screen door this morning. It's such a relief to be able to *open* the door without resorting to shoving and cursing to get out. One touch, and the door pops open. Ahhhh...
So anyhoo, back to my rant. My grandmother is nuts.
It's a good thing I've never felt related to her, or I'd be in tears. I'm starting to feel miffed about not being paid attention to, though. For instance....my 20th birthday was December 1st. My mom's stepmother sent me a card timed to arrive right on my birthday. Two weeks past and I still hadn't heard from my grandmother. My mom called her up and casually remarked on my recent birthday. I got a card in the mail a few days later...
While cleaning out this house, my mom and I have found piles of correspondence between Suzanne and tons of other people. She sends them cards, writes them letters longer then "Dear Wendy. Love Mom" and her email folders burgeon with lengthily correspondence. We know she pays attention to other people...Why not my mother and I?
When the docs were telling my mom she was going to die earlier this year, she told Suzanne about it. The next phone call my mom made to her, she didn't even remember.
I can be an egotistical, self serving snot sometimes, but at least I'm angelic the other 50% of the time. :-)
We got ourselves lost in a different National Forest this time. I turned up a rutted dirt FS road and found out we were in a wolf relocation area. There were sheep corrals everywhere, and a dead coyote near the gate of one of them. It must have been shot by a sheep rancher.
We were so high up in elevation that we bumped into snow again. There were patches of it everywhere amidst the towering ponderosa pines. It started to rain when we got back down to regular elevation (about 6,000 feet). The temp dipped down to 71 degrees, and I actually felt a little chilly. I tell you, it's rough out here. :-)
We mosied over to Home Depot again and picked up more things for the house. This place has never looked better! We're putting in a mini herb garden on one side of the front porch, and lots of flowers on the other. I finished putting in the new screen door this morning. It's such a relief to be able to *open* the door without resorting to shoving and cursing to get out. One touch, and the door pops open. Ahhhh...
So anyhoo, back to my rant. My grandmother is nuts.
It's a good thing I've never felt related to her, or I'd be in tears. I'm starting to feel miffed about not being paid attention to, though. For instance....my 20th birthday was December 1st. My mom's stepmother sent me a card timed to arrive right on my birthday. Two weeks past and I still hadn't heard from my grandmother. My mom called her up and casually remarked on my recent birthday. I got a card in the mail a few days later...
While cleaning out this house, my mom and I have found piles of correspondence between Suzanne and tons of other people. She sends them cards, writes them letters longer then "Dear Wendy. Love Mom" and her email folders burgeon with lengthily correspondence. We know she pays attention to other people...Why not my mother and I?
When the docs were telling my mom she was going to die earlier this year, she told Suzanne about it. The next phone call my mom made to her, she didn't even remember.
I can be an egotistical, self serving snot sometimes, but at least I'm angelic the other 50% of the time. :-)
Material Stuff
Sorting through the mounds of the total junk in this house has really had an effect on mom and I. It's therapuetic for us to see something, go "That's junk" and throw it out. It's also very exasperating to see what her mom has spent her time, money and attention on over the years.
Growing up, my mom only had a few pieces of ill-fitting clothes. Meanwhile, her mother would go out and buy new things for herself, literally every day. Suzanne pretty much ignored my mother (Wendy) all of her life.
My Mom has always sent her letters and called, but Suzanne rarely has. Once mom complained that she never got a real letter from her mom, so Suzanne wrote at the top of a legal pad sheet, "Dear Wendy," and at the very bottom, "Love Mom".
My mom became disabled at a young age and ever since then has lived on a pitance. When I was young, mom tried to support her and I on $300 a month. When I was older, her income increased to a whopping $600 a month. Suzanne has never offered to help out. Once my Mom asked her for $100 to help her move into college. She never got any help. Meanwhile, Suzanne was living on more than $100,000 a year at the time.
With all that money to spend, you'd think they'd have something tangible to show for it. Nope. They're in debt up to their eyeballs. They refinanced this house when they were only a year away from paying it off. They pissed away the money, and now owe more on the house then it's worth. They recently traded in their 2000 Camry that was a year from being paid off, got $1,200 for it in exchange for entering into a 7-year contract for a $25,000 car that when the finace charges are computed, will have them owing $52,000.
Mom has been getting their finances in order, finding her mom and Dick homes to live in, selling everything in the house, putting the house and car up for sale, helping out in any way she can, etc. When my Mom asked her mom how many credit cards she owned, Suzanne said "I don't know". When she asked how much debt Suzanne was in, she replied "I have no idea"
To Be Continued...
Growing up, my mom only had a few pieces of ill-fitting clothes. Meanwhile, her mother would go out and buy new things for herself, literally every day. Suzanne pretty much ignored my mother (Wendy) all of her life.
My Mom has always sent her letters and called, but Suzanne rarely has. Once mom complained that she never got a real letter from her mom, so Suzanne wrote at the top of a legal pad sheet, "Dear Wendy," and at the very bottom, "Love Mom".
My mom became disabled at a young age and ever since then has lived on a pitance. When I was young, mom tried to support her and I on $300 a month. When I was older, her income increased to a whopping $600 a month. Suzanne has never offered to help out. Once my Mom asked her for $100 to help her move into college. She never got any help. Meanwhile, Suzanne was living on more than $100,000 a year at the time.
With all that money to spend, you'd think they'd have something tangible to show for it. Nope. They're in debt up to their eyeballs. They refinanced this house when they were only a year away from paying it off. They pissed away the money, and now owe more on the house then it's worth. They recently traded in their 2000 Camry that was a year from being paid off, got $1,200 for it in exchange for entering into a 7-year contract for a $25,000 car that when the finace charges are computed, will have them owing $52,000.
Mom has been getting their finances in order, finding her mom and Dick homes to live in, selling everything in the house, putting the house and car up for sale, helping out in any way she can, etc. When my Mom asked her mom how many credit cards she owned, Suzanne said "I don't know". When she asked how much debt Suzanne was in, she replied "I have no idea"
To Be Continued...
Monday, March 22, 2004
We played hooky
Mom looked up at me from her perch on the computer chair. "I want to excape" she said furtively. We looked around outside to make sure nobody was coming, then quickly got into the car and drove away. It felt so good to be away from everybody's beck and call! For the past week, only a few minutes would pass in between people calling or knocking on the door. The yard sale on Saturday really wore us out, too.
I got us lost on some dirt roads in the nearby National Forest. We passed quite a few ranches and mini homesteads and only saw a few cars. We popped back out onto pavement and found ourselves near Pinetop-Lakeside, a fairly good sized town. We then drove to Show Lo and picked up some things at Home Depot.
The screen door on this house is impossible. It's bent all to heck, pieces are falling out of it, and you really have to yank to get it open. We sprung for a $88 storm/screen door. We also picked up some pansies, rosemary, calendula, nice yellow flowers of some variety, chives and a small pot of basil. We already have primer and paint for the front porch. This place is going to look a million times better!
While we were out, I splurged on something for myself. I bought a cowboy hat. :-) It's black with a black hatband that has small silver studs and intervals of brown leather strips wrapped around it. With the black leather cowboy boots I found laying around this house, I'm now ready to run off and join a ranch. :-)
In other news, we recieved the newsletter from the nursing home my grandmother will be moving to permanantly. An excerpt from it:
Gentle Reminder
Recently some concern has been expressed about the motorized scooters used on the property. If you drive a motorized scooter, please be mindful of others. We have had complaints of residents being run off the sidewalks and almost run over in the rec room because of excessive scooter speed.
Your understanding and cooperation in this situation will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
We went to see Dick in his nursing home yesterday. He was acting like his grumpy old self. He swore, shouted, and was very irate. They have him on 5 times the normal dose of sedation just to keep him managable. You can tell he's really going downhill fast. Last time we were there, he remembered who we were. This time, he had no clue. He's making less and less sense as time goes on. The only thing he's sure about is that he wants to escape.
As we went to leave, the nurse came out to say goodbye. In the time that she did that, Dick slipped out the back door and made it about 30 feet over lava rocks in just socks. (They took away his shoes so he can't make it too far when he does manage to get loose). I saw him in the rear view mirror, so I stopped the car and went to lead him back inside. When the nurse had him 10 feet from the door, he asked "Are the people who came to see me gone?" She said yes. I was standing right there and he didn't even realize that it was I who had just been in there visiting him.
I hope that when it's my time to go, I fall off a cliff into a solid bed of limestone. Something quick and relatively painless. Alzheimers sure seems like a sucky way to go.
I got us lost on some dirt roads in the nearby National Forest. We passed quite a few ranches and mini homesteads and only saw a few cars. We popped back out onto pavement and found ourselves near Pinetop-Lakeside, a fairly good sized town. We then drove to Show Lo and picked up some things at Home Depot.
The screen door on this house is impossible. It's bent all to heck, pieces are falling out of it, and you really have to yank to get it open. We sprung for a $88 storm/screen door. We also picked up some pansies, rosemary, calendula, nice yellow flowers of some variety, chives and a small pot of basil. We already have primer and paint for the front porch. This place is going to look a million times better!
While we were out, I splurged on something for myself. I bought a cowboy hat. :-) It's black with a black hatband that has small silver studs and intervals of brown leather strips wrapped around it. With the black leather cowboy boots I found laying around this house, I'm now ready to run off and join a ranch. :-)
In other news, we recieved the newsletter from the nursing home my grandmother will be moving to permanantly. An excerpt from it:
Gentle Reminder
Recently some concern has been expressed about the motorized scooters used on the property. If you drive a motorized scooter, please be mindful of others. We have had complaints of residents being run off the sidewalks and almost run over in the rec room because of excessive scooter speed.
Your understanding and cooperation in this situation will be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
We went to see Dick in his nursing home yesterday. He was acting like his grumpy old self. He swore, shouted, and was very irate. They have him on 5 times the normal dose of sedation just to keep him managable. You can tell he's really going downhill fast. Last time we were there, he remembered who we were. This time, he had no clue. He's making less and less sense as time goes on. The only thing he's sure about is that he wants to escape.
As we went to leave, the nurse came out to say goodbye. In the time that she did that, Dick slipped out the back door and made it about 30 feet over lava rocks in just socks. (They took away his shoes so he can't make it too far when he does manage to get loose). I saw him in the rear view mirror, so I stopped the car and went to lead him back inside. When the nurse had him 10 feet from the door, he asked "Are the people who came to see me gone?" She said yes. I was standing right there and he didn't even realize that it was I who had just been in there visiting him.
I hope that when it's my time to go, I fall off a cliff into a solid bed of limestone. Something quick and relatively painless. Alzheimers sure seems like a sucky way to go.
Saturday, March 20, 2004
Wing 9 rules!
I finally got around to checking my email, and found a sweet letter from John, my RA back at Loring Job Corps. John is the best RA that has ever been there and probably ever will be. John rocks! He's a total sweetheart, too.
Anyhoo, I've been sporadically sending wing 9 postcards. (I just realized I have a backlog of three postcards and a letter sitting in the glovebox of the van...oops!) I promise I'll mail them soon! They've been checking my blog, so I figured I should squeeze in the time to write something.
Today we had our first yard sale. We've been here at my grandmothers for exactly one week. She just had to go into a nursing home, so we're here to sell every last thing in the house, the house itself, and her car. I'm beat. It was 85 degees out today. I carried 95% of the stuff out of the house until help arrived in the form of my aunt, her two kids and husband. I had to eat a couple of creamsicles just to stay alive. :-) We've rented a 20 cubic yard dumpster. What we can't sell, goes in there. It's good for up to 5 tons. The sad thing is, we've only been here a week and it's almost half full.
The past week has been a blur of cleaning. This house is a hellhole. You would not believe the amount of pure crap that resides here. We literally had to carve a path to walk through the house....there was just so much junk, you struggled to find a piece of bare ground.
Speaking of crap....I've gone through 3 pairs of heavy durty gloves and about a gallon each of ammonia and bleach cleaning up the place. My grandmother's husband (Dick) is incontinent. When we got here, there were dirty old people diapers all over the house, and shit smeared across the entire toilet bowl, lid and base, shit in the shower, on the floor, etc.... I had to tackle that the first few hours. It was vile. Pardon my french, but it really was quite disgusting. Dick is now in a home and is being well taken care of. He has Alzheimers and has to be locked in, unfortunately.
Upcoming projects include painting the water-stained ceiling, shampooing and vacuuming the entire house, installing a new screen door, painting the front porch and a myriad of other things. Mom and I have been working every day from 7am until late (sometimes midnight) at night. It's one way to burn off the calories! We have another yard sale next weekend - in fact, every weekend until everything is sold.
I told mom that when we're finished here, I'm running off to be a cowgirl. I figure ranchwork is way easier than what we've been doing here :-) Seriously though, it's always been something I wanted to do. I grew up on a vegetable farm, now I want to get into cows. A big part of it is the allure of riding a horse, wearing cowboy boots and a suave hat. :-)
Gotta go, more work calls. I'll try to update semi-regularly now. The first week was a blur. It has to calm down a little now, right?
Anyhoo, I've been sporadically sending wing 9 postcards. (I just realized I have a backlog of three postcards and a letter sitting in the glovebox of the van...oops!) I promise I'll mail them soon! They've been checking my blog, so I figured I should squeeze in the time to write something.
Today we had our first yard sale. We've been here at my grandmothers for exactly one week. She just had to go into a nursing home, so we're here to sell every last thing in the house, the house itself, and her car. I'm beat. It was 85 degees out today. I carried 95% of the stuff out of the house until help arrived in the form of my aunt, her two kids and husband. I had to eat a couple of creamsicles just to stay alive. :-) We've rented a 20 cubic yard dumpster. What we can't sell, goes in there. It's good for up to 5 tons. The sad thing is, we've only been here a week and it's almost half full.
The past week has been a blur of cleaning. This house is a hellhole. You would not believe the amount of pure crap that resides here. We literally had to carve a path to walk through the house....there was just so much junk, you struggled to find a piece of bare ground.
Speaking of crap....I've gone through 3 pairs of heavy durty gloves and about a gallon each of ammonia and bleach cleaning up the place. My grandmother's husband (Dick) is incontinent. When we got here, there were dirty old people diapers all over the house, and shit smeared across the entire toilet bowl, lid and base, shit in the shower, on the floor, etc.... I had to tackle that the first few hours. It was vile. Pardon my french, but it really was quite disgusting. Dick is now in a home and is being well taken care of. He has Alzheimers and has to be locked in, unfortunately.
Upcoming projects include painting the water-stained ceiling, shampooing and vacuuming the entire house, installing a new screen door, painting the front porch and a myriad of other things. Mom and I have been working every day from 7am until late (sometimes midnight) at night. It's one way to burn off the calories! We have another yard sale next weekend - in fact, every weekend until everything is sold.
I told mom that when we're finished here, I'm running off to be a cowgirl. I figure ranchwork is way easier than what we've been doing here :-) Seriously though, it's always been something I wanted to do. I grew up on a vegetable farm, now I want to get into cows. A big part of it is the allure of riding a horse, wearing cowboy boots and a suave hat. :-)
Gotta go, more work calls. I'll try to update semi-regularly now. The first week was a blur. It has to calm down a little now, right?
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Now that Heather is back.....
Now that Heather is back, I'll try to keep my opinions on my own blog.....
Sunday, February 29, 2004
Wendy Speaks....
I drove to northern Maine and snatched Heather away from Job Corps. What I saw there was worse than my wildest imagination scenarios. I must have told Heather a hundred times that I was amazed she had stayed and stuck it out. I was proud of her for trying to make the best of a bad situation!!!!
I got to Heather's dorm at 9:30 pm. I went to the security office and the guy got on his walkie talkie and asked the RA to bring down "HM". When Heather got in the office, I hugged and kissed her good ;-) Then we went up to her room. I was extra wimpy after the long ride and was leaning heavily on my cane. They let me go up the elevator.
Keep in mind that this school is on the old Loring Air Force Base. The dorm was made of cement blocks and the hallways must have been constructed narrowly to double as bunkers in case of attack. Certainly two of me could not fit down the hall side by side ;-) It was creepy!
The hallways were full of aimless youth who looked bored out of their skulls. I could see why they were roaming the halls after seeing their tiny rooms. There's not much space to just BE and relax. Some kids were flopped in a darkened TV room, some were around the only computer. It was not internet capable and could only be used to play mindless games. I started feeling trapped and institutionalized right away.
With the door to Heather and her roommate Sarah's room closed, very little sound was cut off. It was like living in an airport flight path....the rumbles, yells and rollerblading kids was non-stop. Even by 11 pm, the noise was LOUD!
I went out to the parking lot and slept in my van. Temps were around zero with a 25 mph wind. Can you say brrrrrrrrrrrrrr?? Luckily I had Zeke dog to cuddle up with, but he was only good for one side! I put on 2 fleece jackets, a hood and sweat pants and slept relatively well until Heather bounced in to the van after breakfast. I was very brave. I got out of the warm bed and put on clean clothes.
I asked Heather if I could come to class with her and she got permission. Then she realized it was the day of her 60 day luncheon and got permission for me to go to that, too. I enjoyed the part of the day that was truly class. A ranger came in to finish up his week long class on wildland fire supression. Since I went to college for forestry, it was all very interesting to me. I thought he was a great speaker with some interesting tapes and presentations. Afterwards, the kids practiced getting under fire shelters.
The dismaying parts of the day were "class". Kids need to be in their assigned rooms at 8 am. Once they get there, anything goes. They pretty much sit around and talk, fool around, look at catalogs and nap. This is exactly how Heather had been describing it for weeks. I had hoped she was exagerating ;-)
No guidance, no "teaching", nothing at all motivating, educational or inspiring. That was contrasted by the gear room!!! That place was amazing! Closets full and piles of fantastic gear for skiing, snowshoeing, kayaking, white water rafting, camping, backpacking, etc. I was drooling ;-p Too bad they hardly use the stuff! That would be the highlight and crowning glory of this program. Bummer ;-(
At lunch we got pizza and chicken wings. I had seafood pizza which was pretty good ;-) A bunch of "officials" stood up and addressed the half dozen kids who made it to their 60 day luncheon. I was mostly appalled and disturbed by what they had to say. From my point of view, they were intent on churning out nice little consumers who would go on to earn and spend money, but not necessarily have good or rewarding lives. Sigh........ When it was Heather's turn to get her award and speak, she was disgusted, so just said she had already built her own house and was making $22 an hour when she went in there. Snicker....snicker...snicker.....
So....enough about Job Corps. I hope that's it. Heather tried getting a leave of absence or time off for a job and that didn't work out. She just left.
As fate would have it, I got a phone call while in Maine that my mom is in the hospital, awaiting open heart surgery. That was totally unexpected! She is scheduled for a triple by-pass. We may or may not try to get to Arizona to see her. We'll see.
I got to Heather's dorm at 9:30 pm. I went to the security office and the guy got on his walkie talkie and asked the RA to bring down "HM". When Heather got in the office, I hugged and kissed her good ;-) Then we went up to her room. I was extra wimpy after the long ride and was leaning heavily on my cane. They let me go up the elevator.
Keep in mind that this school is on the old Loring Air Force Base. The dorm was made of cement blocks and the hallways must have been constructed narrowly to double as bunkers in case of attack. Certainly two of me could not fit down the hall side by side ;-) It was creepy!
The hallways were full of aimless youth who looked bored out of their skulls. I could see why they were roaming the halls after seeing their tiny rooms. There's not much space to just BE and relax. Some kids were flopped in a darkened TV room, some were around the only computer. It was not internet capable and could only be used to play mindless games. I started feeling trapped and institutionalized right away.
With the door to Heather and her roommate Sarah's room closed, very little sound was cut off. It was like living in an airport flight path....the rumbles, yells and rollerblading kids was non-stop. Even by 11 pm, the noise was LOUD!
I went out to the parking lot and slept in my van. Temps were around zero with a 25 mph wind. Can you say brrrrrrrrrrrrrr?? Luckily I had Zeke dog to cuddle up with, but he was only good for one side! I put on 2 fleece jackets, a hood and sweat pants and slept relatively well until Heather bounced in to the van after breakfast. I was very brave. I got out of the warm bed and put on clean clothes.
I asked Heather if I could come to class with her and she got permission. Then she realized it was the day of her 60 day luncheon and got permission for me to go to that, too. I enjoyed the part of the day that was truly class. A ranger came in to finish up his week long class on wildland fire supression. Since I went to college for forestry, it was all very interesting to me. I thought he was a great speaker with some interesting tapes and presentations. Afterwards, the kids practiced getting under fire shelters.
The dismaying parts of the day were "class". Kids need to be in their assigned rooms at 8 am. Once they get there, anything goes. They pretty much sit around and talk, fool around, look at catalogs and nap. This is exactly how Heather had been describing it for weeks. I had hoped she was exagerating ;-)
No guidance, no "teaching", nothing at all motivating, educational or inspiring. That was contrasted by the gear room!!! That place was amazing! Closets full and piles of fantastic gear for skiing, snowshoeing, kayaking, white water rafting, camping, backpacking, etc. I was drooling ;-p Too bad they hardly use the stuff! That would be the highlight and crowning glory of this program. Bummer ;-(
At lunch we got pizza and chicken wings. I had seafood pizza which was pretty good ;-) A bunch of "officials" stood up and addressed the half dozen kids who made it to their 60 day luncheon. I was mostly appalled and disturbed by what they had to say. From my point of view, they were intent on churning out nice little consumers who would go on to earn and spend money, but not necessarily have good or rewarding lives. Sigh........ When it was Heather's turn to get her award and speak, she was disgusted, so just said she had already built her own house and was making $22 an hour when she went in there. Snicker....snicker...snicker.....
So....enough about Job Corps. I hope that's it. Heather tried getting a leave of absence or time off for a job and that didn't work out. She just left.
As fate would have it, I got a phone call while in Maine that my mom is in the hospital, awaiting open heart surgery. That was totally unexpected! She is scheduled for a triple by-pass. We may or may not try to get to Arizona to see her. We'll see.
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