Thursday, September 16, 2004


I have not been in a relationship in 474 days. It's been an interesting time so far. I've been through a lot of phases.

At first I started looking up born again virginity.

Then involuntary celibacy...

Which led me to wonder what different cultures had to say about sex for unmarried women.

I pondered if arranged marriages made good sense.

I perused several dating sites.

I usually read the personals ads for amusement. I crafted a few of my own. How to describe my personality and wants in 30 words or less?

I decided that relationships were unhealthy for people my age. How can you develop your life, interests and goals, while trying to mesh with someone elses? Your entire life's course can be altered depending on what sort of mate you choose. I thought of the types of men I'm attracted to....

1) Italian guy with large family
Hmm, I could marry one of these, have a few dozen children, and live happily ever after in Italy on the family vineyard.

2) A carhartt and 3-day-old beard wearing trailworker
We'd spend our lives building trails and leading conservation corps, possibly starting our own conservation organization. Retire in Alaska.

3) Hunky construction worker
We'd build our dream house, or possibly rennovate a fixer-upper Victorian with great lines. Perhaps rennovate a bunch of other classic houses in good neighborhoods and rake in the rent/sales cash.

4) Outdoor nut
We'd meet while working at the REI flagship store. Our paychecks would be spent on gear purchased at steep employee discounts. Our free time would go to exploring every outdoor pursuit out there. We'd hike the triple crown, do a lot of adventuring in other counties. Pardon me while I drool over the nice chest this guy would have...

5) Cultured Yuppie
We'd see the world via a beautifully crafted mahogany sailboat. When on land, we'd have a sprawling but not ostentatious big house-little house-barn, spread on several hundred acres in the country. We'd throw dinner parties for our enviro-conscious, Mensa member, politically active, Volvo-driving friends.

Think of how drastically your life would be altered if you were to spend it with a different mate.

I have no idea what I want to grow up to be like. How do I know what type of man and future life I want, too? I guess that's why people try on others and see if they fit.

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