Heather's World: August 2007

So, I haven't been able to drive my van since 6-29, when I was run into by that idiot. I've been slowly fixing the things that need fixing as I earn the money, and wait for the police/insurance to get their act together.

Today I sawed off my exhaust system in preparation for bolting an entirely new one on. I'll get the new one in the mail later this week.

I've got the bolts soaking in PB Blaster, so hopefully I can finish taking everything off tomorrow.

I'm glad I have a surrogate mom here in Austin. It's been sad ever since my real one went off the deep end last year.

The worst part about it is that my mom experiences occasional moments of lucidity, where she tells me and other people that she realizes her behavior isn't the healthiest or smartest....and then the next phone call, she appears brainwashed again.

I actually hung up on her the other day. When I pointed out to her that she admits to herself and others that she realizes her behavior isn't the smartest or healthiest, her reponse was, "Well, I guess I shouldn't have been that honest." ...... And now she's running away from her problems, literally and figuratively, to "visit" MO.

I read her blog today, and it sounds like she's traveling with Rhett again. Rhett is the man who treats her like crap, who doesn't do anything to help himself, and offers nothing to her except a chance for her to nurture her savior/matyr complex. And this is from her own blog. (http://journals.aol.com/wsm311/WendyUsuallyWanders/entries/2007/06/05/epiphany.../3951 )
http://journals.aol.com/wsm311/WendyUsuallyWanders/entries/2007/06/03/got-a-good-talking-to...../3948

This is a man that she alternately can't stand, and then considers marrying. Her bishop called her into his office and told her he thinks they should get married. And she's considered it. She'll pretty much do anything a church official tells her.

In the past, my mom has told me she wouldn't marry him if I would just become a Mormon. Way to go with the emotional black mail, mom.

There's nothing I can do to change her behavior. It would be a lot easier to deal if she would stay brainwashed and not experience those "AHA!" moments where she switches back into the mom I grew up with, and seems perfectly sensible.

She's hiding behind Mormonism as a way to sacrifice her own health/well being/interests under the umbrella of good christian behavior. It sucks.

But it would make great book material!

Oh, and this Possum guy is a creep. He applied (seriously) on my boyfriend application a long while back. Then he met mom in person, and was hitting on her. I've never met him, but with what he says and does on the internet, he oozes creepy user vibes. And mom has seen the light before, yet keeps going back to these men who are scum. Her blog on him: http://journals.aol.com/wsm311/WendyUsuallyWanders/entries/2007/06/21/tired-depressed-hopeful-and-and-pondering.../3965

Yuck.