Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Alternate reality

So, I haven't been able to drive my van since 6-29, when I was run into by that idiot. I've been slowly fixing the things that need fixing as I earn the money, and wait for the police/insurance to get their act together.

Today I sawed off my exhaust system in preparation for bolting an entirely new one on. I'll get the new one in the mail later this week.

I've got the bolts soaking in PB Blaster, so hopefully I can finish taking everything off tomorrow.

I'm glad I have a surrogate mom here in Austin. It's been sad ever since my real one went off the deep end last year.

The worst part about it is that my mom experiences occasional moments of lucidity, where she tells me and other people that she realizes her behavior isn't the healthiest or smartest....and then the next phone call, she appears brainwashed again.

I actually hung up on her the other day. When I pointed out to her that she admits to herself and others that she realizes her behavior isn't the smartest or healthiest, her reponse was, "Well, I guess I shouldn't have been that honest." ...... And now she's running away from her problems, literally and figuratively, to "visit" MO.

I read her blog today, and it sounds like she's traveling with Rhett again. Rhett is the man who treats her like crap, who doesn't do anything to help himself, and offers nothing to her except a chance for her to nurture her savior/matyr complex. And this is from her own blog. ( )

This is a man that she alternately can't stand, and then considers marrying. Her bishop called her into his office and told her he thinks they should get married. And she's considered it. She'll pretty much do anything a church official tells her.

In the past, my mom has told me she wouldn't marry him if I would just become a Mormon. Way to go with the emotional black mail, mom.

There's nothing I can do to change her behavior. It would be a lot easier to deal if she would stay brainwashed and not experience those "AHA!" moments where she switches back into the mom I grew up with, and seems perfectly sensible.

She's hiding behind Mormonism as a way to sacrifice her own health/well being/interests under the umbrella of good christian behavior. It sucks.

But it would make great book material!

Oh, and this Possum guy is a creep. He applied (seriously) on my boyfriend application a long while back. Then he met mom in person, and was hitting on her. I've never met him, but with what he says and does on the internet, he oozes creepy user vibes. And mom has seen the light before, yet keeps going back to these men who are scum. Her blog on him:



Bobaloo said...

Heather, I got to "know" your mom years ago via an email list we were both on and have been watching with horror the last couple of years. I'm glad to see that you haven't bought into the crap, I'm just sorry you got screwed out of the homestead in VT, it's a shame your mom going crazy had to hurt you too. Best of luck in you new adventures.

JasperHobbs said...

Heather I think your mother is not living in a healthy environment. No AC in Florida with her health issues is a recipe for disaster. Someone should convince her to get into public housing somewhere and get proper medical treatment.

I fear she will end up dead in the camper due to exposure.

Tossing Pebbles in the Stream said...

Heather I am so sorry to read of your mother's distressful life. When I first started reading your blog when you lived in Vermont with your mother, the two of you seemed to have the counter culture thing down pretty good. Your mother's religious psychosis is part of her problem when a healthy religious view should be supportive. I hope she settles soon. She cannot afford to be driving around on her modest income. Where is the self reliance she used to draw upon. You are right she needs to jettison the male leeches. I hope it gets better as it must be a worry for you.

ChickenLittle said...

Sometimes we all want to hit our head against a wall!! Without claiming to really know/understand your situation......but having a diagnosed schizophrenic sister and a depressed mother.....yup, it can really, really suck. And that about says it all. I feel for ya.

Kudos on the non-conversion. Mormons are crazy. What's up with the special underwear??

cricket said...

I'm so sorry about your trouble with your mom. I know first hand how difficulrt it is to deal with a mentally ill family member. It can be almost like they have died and been replaced by a stranger. You can't change them, all you can do is grieve.
My heart goes out to you.

Becky said...

Glad you are keeping your mind and free will alive! I love reading about your spectacular adventures and your unique take on the world. Never change the unique and interesting person you are. I agree with tossing pebbles... I am sorry your roots were sold out from under you for a wild goose chase that ended in disaster for your Mom.

Black Bear Hollow said...

Wow- I am so glad you see things so clearly. I was a long time member of the VT Homesteading list when your mom ran it and was horrified when she suddenly decided to become a Mormon and marry and I told her so. She got really angry with me. I thought she disowned you. I couldn't believe how she appeared to toss you away and flee to FL. Crazy! So I've watched in horror as she continues to go down in flames. I'm so sorry this has all happened. It's very difficult I'm sure. Glad you have support in Austin and I hope she eventually snaps out of this bizarre mormon escapade and dumps these creeps. Take care of yourself Heather!

Cait said...

I'm very glad to hear that you're doing well and well... yeah. I'm worried about your mom too, and I don't even know her other than through her blog. (I know of one Mormon 'community' in MO and I hope to heck it's not the one she's headed to cause.. yeah. More crazy people.) While I admire her indpendence, it just seems like she's been making a lot of really erratic decisions and some of them don't match up with reality. I'm really worried about Aleka and Zeke too- it's not fair for Zeke to be working as a service dog with the health issues she's mentioned (and the food she's feeding him and Aleka- I know money's tight but... you take care of your ctiters, you know?) but if I say anything about that and she DOES stop using him, he's going to be stuck in a hot RV all day and lose his public access rights. And I'm sure that's silly to worry about when you're so worried about your mom, but well.. yeah.

JasperHobbs said...

Sadly people get taken in by so called religious organizations that are more like cults.

Religion has its place but when that is all people talk about and their life centers around it, usually problems occur.

Hope your Mom sees the light and finds some balance in her life.

Don said...

I wish the best for you and for your mom. She is obviously going what she thinks is her right way. As long as she isn't taking a guy along I'd guess she would be ok.

The only one I know of is Possum; from various Yahoo groups and he seemed pretty normal. If you've got a different view, I'd go with it. On the other hand, he seems to be helping your mom and not preying on her. That would be ok.

Best of luck. I'm in Palm Harbor, Florida - if you need someone down here check my blog for an email address.

Danielle said...

Glad to see you're doing well, and sorry about your mom. Hope things continue to work out for you. You are a pretty amazing person.

R2K said...

: )

JOHN said...


I am sorry to see the direction your mother is going in.

You, on the other hand seem to be doing well. As sad as your mothers situation is, you need to focus on your own well being. Hopefully your mother will come around in time. But do not spend your valuable time trying to help someone who is not ready to accept help.

Be well

JasperHobbs said...

I think your Mom made a wise move to Missouri. From reading her blog, sounds like she will be able to get more public assistance and quicker than Florida.

Hopefully she can get back on track with health and life


Craigs said...
Hi Heather, order this book, read the large chapter on the Mormon's and pass it on to your mother. I just don't understand how folks fall for their dogma.

Zestfive said...

Yikes, I found you and your mom through the homestead website. My mom had a similar experience although not Mormon...charismatic pentecostal. I'm sorry you're having a hard time...Good Luck to you and your Mom.

heather said...

heather, i've followed peace and carrots for years now, i was so surprised when the homestead went up for sale and even more surprised that your mom didn't see the writing on the wall with the fiance/loser... i always wondered if you guys missed terribly your vermont home, especially your cabin that it seems you never got to "quite" live in. i live in CT and my husband is from vermont (sutton), we so wanted to buy your farm (you practically were giving it away!!), but had just purchased our house here a couple months before.
i'm sorry for your moms behavior/life choices, it must be so hard for you. all of that said, i am happy you are doing well, and have resurected your blog, best of luck.