If you're a Christian, you should be loving, not condemning thy neighbor.
See my previous entry, sarcasm is for smart people. Subtlety is as well. Some people just don't get things unless they're walloped over the head with a clue-by-four.
If I had wanted a sex toy or any of the other things I mentioned, I would have obtained them already. The internet and Canada are wonderful things. I was being facetious.
My lists of soul mate wants and not wants was very reasonable. Are you telling me there are people who look for qualities such as
1) Looks like a rhinoceros (on a good day)
2) Can't be peeled off the couch
3) Hates kids and animals
4) sour puss, half empty attitude
5) doesn't bathe, picks nose in public
6) At least a foot shorter than I am
7) Hates learning anything, won't crack a book unless forced to at gunpoint
8) Communicates by grunting
9) Thinks romance is for sissies
10) Won't lift a finger to help
Interestingly enough, I got a great book on the side of the road today. It's called "If you like Pina Coladas ... The humor and weirdness of personal ads"
My favorite of the moment is:
SWM, 24, Wile E. Coyote type supergenius: eclectic, creative, and complete with existential angst. You: light hearted road runner type, minus the cruelty, with a smiling appreciation for all my ridiculous schemes. My heart is a giant magnet and for once you actually ate the birdseed full of ball bearings. Bzzt! Clank!