Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Human Touch

I don't want a romantic relationship. I want touch. I want to fall asleep curled up against someone, wrapped in their arms. To run my fingertips over their smooth skin. To lay there late at night with my body snuggled against their warm chest and thighs, the cool evening air caressing and enveloping everything else.

I think most people really just crave a kind, gentle human touch in their lives...and use romantic relationships/sex as a path to get it. The ironic thing is once you start a relationship, the pure and simple holding each other goes out the window. Instead of reveling in the closeness, waking up in the middle of the night and realizing your breathing has synchronized with theirs as you watch them sleep....that sweetness slips through your grasp. The focus shifts to sex and how to get it. Which shifts the focus away from simple enjoyment of one another, and towards creating and maintaining a relationship. Wonderful as sex and relationships are, right now I just want gentle, kind, loving touch. Simple and innocent. No sex involved. No romantic entanglements. No thinking about the future. No wondering what to cook for them on weekend mornings, or if they find me funny, or what to do together as a couple. Just someone to have and to hold at night, to fall asleep with and wake up in the morning next to.

My pillows just aren't cutting it anymore.

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