Monday, July 19, 2004

Domestic Goddess Part 2

I wrote this out in my house but couldn't get to bed. Came into the main house to transfer it onto the computer.
I can't sleep. It's 11:35 pm and I'm up in my loft, writing by the light of my headlamp. The radio is streaming rich jazz while outside is the sound of lush, heavy rain. I just devoured a 152 page book in a little over an hour. It's called "Plain and simple; a woman's journey to the Amish". I grabbed it on an impulse while on my way to the library checkout desk.
I've been laying here in the dark, drumming my fingers against the mattress and thinking about the book for the last half hour. In some ways I think of the author as yet another rich yuppie who's in search of a meaningful life after decades of a shallow existence...And in other ways, I can identify.

Everybody spends their life searching for meaning. I don't know what my purpose is, but I do know that I'd like to spend it having a positive impact on the people and environment around me. Lately I've been hung up on the idea of maturing into a domestic goddess. For me, that means delving more into the things derisively labeled "Home Ec".
I want to create fabulous masterpieces in the kitchen, loose myself in scrubbing the tile floor until it sparkles, wash, iron, decorate, etc. I want to create a warm, welcoming home environment. I want to heat the dinner plates beforehand, at least occasionally. I want to have a home where people kick off their shoes and feel utterly at ease. I want to spoil everybody into delighted pieces.
Some days I think it would be fun to have a whole flock of kids. Most days though, I'm pretty sure I only want one. Though if the right Italian guy with a loving, extended family came along...  When I have a kid (s?), I want to devote my time towards raising it. I don't want to have an outside job at the same time. I want to travel and do lots of interesting thing with it and the father. We'll do things like go to the zoo and makes faces at the walruses. That's a ways off yet, as I don't want a kid until I'm almost 30. There are still so many interesting things I want to do before then! And I also have to find a husband, first. Details, details!
One of my favorite quotes comes from the side of a Celestial Seasonings tea box; 
"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but rather outward in the same direction"

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